by Chris Buchheit and Ben Syzek
I love the trail running community. Where else can you meet a
complete stranger and instantly be comfortable blowing snot rockets around him
(and sometimes her)? That's not really how it works, though. Things don't
always click instantly and it takes a few miles to figure each other out.
We all know what that first run with a new person is like.
Wondering, "Are they faster than me? Can I actually blow snot rockets
around her?" These are important questions that have to be figured out.
I recently met a dude named Chris, who had posted in the Maniac
Ultra Runners facebook group that he was moving down to Cary, NC where I live.
He wanted some info about the local trails, and I told him I'd be happy to show
him around. We agreed to meet up for a ~20 mile run in Umstead State Park at
6:30am on a Saturday. In what follows, we chronicle (and somewhat embellish)
our experience of getting to know each other.
Spoiler: We become lifelong trail friends. At least that's Ben's
interpretation of it.
----------------------------------------
Ben (mile 0)
Sweet Jesus it's early. Honestly who meets a
stranger at 6:30am, in the dark, on the side of the road, outside a closed
park? I'd rather not answer that.
It'll be fun, though. I'll get to show him all
of the trails in Umstead, and I'll look really cool because I'll know where all
the water fountains are.
Wait.
What if he's faster than me? That won't be cool.
Then I'll just hold him back and look like a dweeb. Crap, I should have looked
at his UltraSignUp results before I got here. Maybe I can check them on my
phone real fast.
Too late. Here he comes...
[Chris pulls up in his red crew cab Chevy pickup]
Chris (mile 0)
I really hate getting up early. Maybe Ben will bail and I have an excuse to blow this off and sleep...Nope. 6:25am time to go. So...I'm about to go meet a guy, that friended me on facebook, in the dark, on the side of the road...this would be weird if we weren't runners. I hope he's not too much faster than me, crap, I put 10 min pace on my post...I didn't think about hills/not running much for 3 weeks/Oh, and the fact that's a big effort for me on a good day. Smooth move ex-lax. Speaking of ex-lax, I hope Ben knows where all the bathrooms are. <double checks to make sure TP cache is in my backpack>
Aaaannnd there he is.
I think he said he does his "Ultra" training here. Hmmm...wonder what he considers "Ultra", maybe just 50k's. I'll be really impressive with my stories of my one 100 miler and the one 12 hour I've done. Yeah, that's it...haha, I said I'm in for 28 miles and he's only doing 22ish...I win on volume!
I hope we hit it off okay or this is gonna be a loooong day.
<we meet, shake hands, get ready to go>
Aaaannnd there he is.
I think he said he does his "Ultra" training here. Hmmm...wonder what he considers "Ultra", maybe just 50k's. I'll be really impressive with my stories of my one 100 miler and the one 12 hour I've done. Yeah, that's it...haha, I said I'm in for 28 miles and he's only doing 22ish...I win on volume!
I hope we hit it off okay or this is gonna be a loooong day.
<we meet, shake hands, get ready to go>
Ben (mile 2)
Good he's already huffing and puffing going up
this hill. The competition for alpha male dominance has been won! Now I don't
have to worry about him smoking my ass in my own backyard. That would be
embarrassing.
[Chris and I run down our race list, and turns out Chris has
done more 100's than me and has no DNFs]
Shit! Point for Chris. Battle for alpha male
dominance is back on.
Chris (mile 2ish)
GAAASSSPPP!...PANT, PANT, PANT...WHEEEEEZE. Does Ben even breathe?!!??? We've been running for barely two miles and I'm suckin' wind hard. He doesn't sound or look like he's expending any effort at all. This is embarrassing. Oh man, is this what I always sound like? Quick, damage control...I'll start telling him about how studly I was in my races...damn, it comes out lame when you are gasping for breath. Fall back excuse about how the job change, move, etc. has kept me from running and I'm just having an off day...that's it. He's nodding his head, but I can tell he's not buyin it.
<Maybe there's a hole on the trail I can step in and fake an injury to end this quick...even a real injury might be better than suckin' my way around this trail all day>
<Maybe there's a hole on the trail I can step in and fake an injury to end this quick...even a real injury might be better than suckin' my way around this trail all day>
Ben (mile 3)
[Chris says he has to poop]
Goddamnit. I knew this was going to happen when
I saw him drinking that coffee when he showed up. I wonder how long he can hold
it. The park's bathrooms don't open for another hour, and there's no way I'm
turning around.
[Chris says not to worry. He has toilet paper in his pack]
Woohoo! Way to go Chris! Guess the guy's not a
total noob. I love it when people have the gift of foresight. Still think that
coffee was a mistake, though. Just sayin.
Chris (mile 2.8)
O man, do I need to...wait, I can hold it...nope, gotta go! I ask Ben if there's a bathroom close and I can tell immediately from his tone of voice he's like "Dude, WTF, we just started!" But he's being polite, saying we can turn around and go back, those are closest. <only the slightest hint of "REALLY?" in his voice> Doesn't bother me, actually reminds me of the gang back in Ohio. No sweat, I've got TP in the pack, this ain't my first rodeo. Ben says he's going to keep walking, I'm sure trying to figure out how he can get out of this. No prob. I'll catch up. Good, once I get rid of this extra load, I'll be back in normal form... I finish up quick and take off to catch him and realize this is just one of those runs; I'm panting again in no time. Of all the days! At least he knows I'm not a prissy-pants, come prepared and can take care of shit (literally).
Did he really say he runs an 8 or less pace normally? Good news: I've got more longer distance races in than him. Bad news: I can tell I'm not gonna make over 20 today. Wish I had brought salt for the crow I have to eat later. Mental note to self: STOP talkin so big! When will I learn that it's far cooler to say 15, then at the end "I feel like another 10" (leave an out) than commit up front and look like a poser.
Did he really say he runs an 8 or less pace normally? Good news: I've got more longer distance races in than him. Bad news: I can tell I'm not gonna make over 20 today. Wish I had brought salt for the crow I have to eat later. Mental note to self: STOP talkin so big! When will I learn that it's far cooler to say 15, then at the end "I feel like another 10" (leave an out) than commit up front and look like a poser.
Ben (mile 5)
[Chris starts walking up a hill]
Ok. Ok. The guy did just move down here from
Ohio, so I'll cut him some slack. Not to mention I was running way faster than
I normally do. Gotta make him think I run like this all the time. Shit, I'm not
even going to be able to walk tomorrow if I keep this up. As long as he thinks
walking was his idea, though, we're cool. I'll tell him, "Yeah I usually
run this hill at like a 6 min/mile pace, but it's cool if we walk right now.
I'm in no rush."
[I tell Chris I usually run the hill at a sub-4 min/mile pace,
but it's cool if we walk right now. I'm in no rush.]
Chris (mile ??)
Don't look at your watch...Don't look at your watch...PANT, PANT, Gasp...Why is Ben not breathing hard. Oh no, not another hill, not now. I can't stop, have to run the hill (10 feet later), I gotta walk, I'm dyin'. Why am I always the first one to call it!?!? Fail...I looked at my watch, only around 5 miles and I can't bear to mention the pace. OH THE SHAME! I start making plans to return my ultra race buckles...I'm not worthy. At least the conversation is good and Ben seems okay with walking. Time for the classic comment "you know it's more about time on your feet than speed on these long runs; it's best to take walk breaks so you are used to them come race day." He comes back with "I love hills, I do my best work on hills, why at least one day a week I spend a couple hours running on the treadmill with it cranked up to max elevation, I usually run this hill at a <insert some ungodly pace>!" I'm thinkin', "Oh yeah, well..." <I got nothin', that's impressive.>
Next thought is: "Dude, don't leave me out here, I'll never find my way back!"
Not like we're in BFE, it's a busy public park, but it's very dramatic inside my head.
Next thought is: "Dude, don't leave me out here, I'll never find my way back!"
Not like we're in BFE, it's a busy public park, but it's very dramatic inside my head.
Ben (mile 9.something)
[We run into Rhonda Hampton, the Umstead 100 RD]
I know her! Let's say hi so that I can look like
I know important people. Man I'm really obsessed with this looking cool thing.
Should I be concerned about that? Probably, but I'll think about that
later.
[I coolly flag down Rhonda]
Chris (mile 7-11)
Still trying to get a lock on the situation, walking most all the hills now, having clearly demonstrated I may <read "WILL"> die if I try to run them. Ben seems to be good with it, but showing no signs of being tired. The conversation is flowing pretty easy, gonna have to try and take it up (actually down) a few notches soon. I have to see where his sense of humor really is, this has been polite, too reserved, for me up to this point...Easy there Trigger, you just met the guy little over an hour...no, more like over two hours (damn, I'm slow) ago. Alright brain, let's take stock of what we know so far before taking the leap...
Still trying to get a lock on the situation, walking most all the hills now, having clearly demonstrated I may <read "WILL"> die if I try to run them. Ben seems to be good with it, but showing no signs of being tired. The conversation is flowing pretty easy, gonna have to try and take it up (actually down) a few notches soon. I have to see where his sense of humor really is, this has been polite, too reserved, for me up to this point...Easy there Trigger, you just met the guy little over an hour...no, more like over two hours (damn, I'm slow) ago. Alright brain, let's take stock of what we know so far before taking the leap...
Finished one 100 miler <good time too, he's faster than me...DUH!, look at him now>
DNF'd a second <Don't mention that, some people are sensitive about DNF's>
Started his own business doing 3D maps of ultra courses <cool, entrepeneurish>
Helping with the Umstead 100 in March <I should volunteer...hmm, deal with that later>
He seems seasoned enough to...what's that? A lady passed us in a car who Ben said was 80 years old and ran Umstead 100 last year. That's awesome! Then the race director drives by and Ben flags her down to chat and introduce me. That's cool, he's pretty connected with the runners, I like that. At the same time I think, "Why the hell couldn't we have started with them instead of getting up so awful early?"
DNF'd a second <Don't mention that, some people are sensitive about DNF's>
Started his own business doing 3D maps of ultra courses <cool, entrepeneurish>
Helping with the Umstead 100 in March <I should volunteer...hmm, deal with that later>
He seems seasoned enough to...what's that? A lady passed us in a car who Ben said was 80 years old and ran Umstead 100 last year. That's awesome! Then the race director drives by and Ben flags her down to chat and introduce me. That's cool, he's pretty connected with the runners, I like that. At the same time I think, "Why the hell couldn't we have started with them instead of getting up so awful early?"
Ben (mile 12.5)
[Chris tells a dirty joke, and I laugh. He says he's relieved he
doesn't have to censor his language and was worried he wouldn't be able to joke
around like he did with his running buddies back home.]
I'm starting to like this guy, and I'm happy I
can make him feel at home. I remember moving down to North Carolina myself not
too long ago and being worried about finding good people to run with. He's me
2.5 years ago. I think I'll invite him to join our running group. They'd love
him. We've been running together so much we're running out of dirty jokes. We
need a guy with new material.
[I tell Chris our running schedule and invite him to join.]
Chris (mile I guess 12.5, feeling like 30 right now)
He shoots, and...SCORE! True humor launched and well received. Thank goodness! At least this part of the run is going well. Ben's a good host, hasn't left me to the dogs (the leashed, very tame, well groomed dogs) yet. Big relief to be able to start really "run talking". Ben invites me to his regular run group, sweet; I'm in...Oh no, not in my current shape...I've got work to do. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be back up to speed...no, I can't wait that long, it will look like I'm blowing them off...holy cats man, get a grip on yourself! This isn't dating, just a running group!
<I can tell Ben and I are going to get along well. The invitation to join the group was super cool, sounds like a great bunch, can't wait to meet them all. This is good.>
<I can tell Ben and I are going to get along well. The invitation to join the group was super cool, sounds like a great bunch, can't wait to meet them all. This is good.>
Ben (mile 15)
[Chris starts fading a little bit]
Alright, the dude's clearly ready for this run
to be over so let's wrap this up and get some breakfast. I'll take him back on
the scenic single track and tell him about Umstead's history along the way.
Hopefully that'll take his mind off the running. Let's see, what do I actually
know about Umstead's history? Hmmm...ok nothing really, but I think I can make
up some believable stuff. Hopefully he doesn't google it when he gets
home.
[I proceed to tell Chris about the fascinating history of
Umstead State Park]
Chris (mile "I think my watch is broken, we have to be at least 50 miles in")
<Dear Lord, take me now. I haven't felt this bad since at least 30 seconds ago>
Man, did you really invite Ben to join you on this Whine-fest?!? He's truly cool since he hasn't dumped you like 10 miles ago. Oh cool, ow, some, ow, distraction, ow, park, ow, history, ow, ow, ow...what did Ben say? A little history spiel on Umstead gives me an excuse to stop for a bit, for which I'm thankful, and it's very interesting.
<Funny, how stuff on the internet doesn't always jive with what someone tells you in person...well, I'm sure the Umstead historical society will get their facts straight at some point...I sent them an e-mail telling them to call Ben for the real history.>
<Dear Lord, take me now. I haven't felt this bad since at least 30 seconds ago>
Man, did you really invite Ben to join you on this Whine-fest?!? He's truly cool since he hasn't dumped you like 10 miles ago. Oh cool, ow, some, ow, distraction, ow, park, ow, history, ow, ow, ow...what did Ben say? A little history spiel on Umstead gives me an excuse to stop for a bit, for which I'm thankful, and it's very interesting.
<Funny, how stuff on the internet doesn't always jive with what someone tells you in person...well, I'm sure the Umstead historical society will get their facts straight at some point...I sent them an e-mail telling them to call Ben for the real history.>
Ben (parking lot - post run)
I wonder what Chris was thinking this whole
time? Hopefully he had fun. You know what'd be fun? Doing a blog post where we
rotate saying what we were thinking at various points during the run. Yeah
that'd be cool. We should also take a #trailfie to show what good friends we've
become. Hopefully he doesn't think that's weird.
[Chris puts on an old, ripped Kansas City Chiefs sweatshirt, and
I tell him he looks like a homeless man. Then I ask him if he wants to take a
trailfie with me. Luckily he thinks the blog and trailfie are a good idea. We
then discuss where to get breakfast.]
Chris (parking lot
- post run)
Run = Bad.
Company = Excellent!
Ben has been a great host. After today's performance I bet he doesn't believe any of my ultra running accomplishments. Oh well, this has been a great experience and I've got a new friend in my book. Seems like we hit it off, I wonder how he feels about it? Hahaha...homeless man...(looks down), yeah okay, I get your point. A "trailfie" is a great idea. Crap, I'm acting like a grandma trying to handle the camera...whoa!, I got a nice double chin going on there...Oooo, breakfast sounds like a great idea! (I'll work that chin off later, let's eat! I need more coffee too.
Bios
Company = Excellent!
Ben has been a great host. After today's performance I bet he doesn't believe any of my ultra running accomplishments. Oh well, this has been a great experience and I've got a new friend in my book. Seems like we hit it off, I wonder how he feels about it? Hahaha...homeless man...(looks down), yeah okay, I get your point. A "trailfie" is a great idea. Crap, I'm acting like a grandma trying to handle the camera...whoa!, I got a nice double chin going on there...Oooo, breakfast sounds like a great idea! (I'll work that chin off later, let's eat! I need more coffee too.
 |
| BTW: There's bacon under the toast. |
Ben is an avid ultra runner and
founder at Gradient360. He has quit the sport of ultra running after nearly every single
race, only to inevitably sign up for another one the following month.
Most recently Ben quit ultra running after the Grindstone 100, but he’s
currently training for several races in January and February.
Chris is a struggling ultra(ish) runner who is simply not smart enough to stop signing up for stupid-long races. Ran Mohican 100 June, 2014 and MOX 12 hour race Oct., 2014. "That hurt like hell...let's do it again!" Currently training for Graveyard 100 in March.
Chris is a struggling ultra(ish) runner who is simply not smart enough to stop signing up for stupid-long races. Ran Mohican 100 June, 2014 and MOX 12 hour race Oct., 2014. "That hurt like hell...let's do it again!" Currently training for Graveyard 100 in March.
